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摘 要

简.奥斯汀所著《傲慢与偏见》讲述了十八世纪英国中上层阶级的婚姻和爱情故事。曹雪芹所著的《红楼梦》讲述了中国封建高层贾府的兴衰。本文选取《红楼梦》中的薛宝钗和《傲慢与偏见》中的夏洛特为研究对象，从对比两人不同的婚姻中解读中英两国在婚姻文化中存在的差异，进而分析导致这些的种种原因，最后总结一段成功的婚姻一些必不可少的因素。

关键词：差异；爱情婚姻；薛宝钗；夏洛特

Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. Literature Review 2

3. Analysis of the Two Characters 2

3.1 Xue Baochai 2

3.2 Charlotte Lucas 3

4. Differences of the Two Marriages 3

4.1 Different Basis of Two Marriages 3

4.1.1 Different emotional foundation 4

4.1.2 Different economic foundation 5

4.2 Different lives after marriage 5

4.2.1 Different family environment 5

4.2.2 Different statuses of women in marriages 6

4.2.3 Different concepts towards marriages 7

5. Causes of the Differences 8

5.1 The Different Systems of Marriages 8

5.2 The Different Purposes of Marriages 9

5.3 The Different Customs oh Marriages 10

6. Conclusion. 11

1. Introduction

Marriage is an important part of culture and custom. Through the study of different marriages in China and the West, people can get a further knowledge of the differences between China and the West.

Jane Austen, one of the most important English realistic writers, is one of the greatest novelists in English literature. Pride and Prejudice, published in 1813, is considered as her masterpiece. This novel probes deeply into the relationship between money and love in a marriage. It begins with a most famous sentence in English literature, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. (Austen 1994 1) With this core sentence, the novel tells the love stories of four pairs of young people. Taking their love and marriages as the thread, the novel covers property, social status and ethics. Cao Xueqin is one of the most famous novelists and poets in the history of Chinese literature. He was born into a family which held the office of Commissioner of Imperial Textiles in Nanking for three generations. But calamity overtook his family and their property was confiscated. In poverty, Cao Xueqin was living near Peking when he wrote his famous novel Dream of Red Mansions, which is said to be a story graved on a stone, so it is also called The Story of The Stone. In this novel, Cao Xueqin presents a vivid description of the rise and fall of sediments represented by four most prominent families in Nanking, revealing the complex contradictions of the feudal family. By creating a series of nobility civilians and the tragic images of feudal women, the novel demonstrates several extremely typical feudal marriages and gives his opinion about love and his value towards marriages.

In this paper, the marriages of Xue Baochai, from Dream of Red Masions and Charlotte Lucas, from Pride and Prejudice are to be analyzed. The paper tries to reveal the differences in marriages between China and England. Different factors will be analyzed to find the causes to the differences. In the end, after the analysis of Baochai’s and Charlotte’s marriages, some suggestions will be provided in seeking happy marriages.

2. Literature Review

Marriage, an important part of culture, reflects the different values of groups of people. In most European countries, the marriage is deeply affected by Christianity . The focus on the respect for the individual’s willing in Christian enables woman to have more freedom in her marriage. “European pattern unmarried life for an adult woman was accepted as a normal alternative to marriage”. (John 43) Besides, monogamy was commonly practiced in the west. The fact can be referred from Lin’s book. “The story of God’s creating Eve from Adam as Adam’s wife could be seen as the source of monogamy”. (Lin Zhongze 2002 63) While in China, marriages are deeply affected by the thought of patriarchal. “The main purpose of the Chinese traditional marriage is reproducing, growing clan, protecting family’s reputation and improving the family’s prestige”. (Han Fang 2008 1215) On this purpose, polygamy was practiced in China long before. Besides, few people could choose their marriages by following their own feeling in the feudal society. “The Chinese culture has the characteristic of collectivity, which never allows the idea of self over community”. (Ma Fangqin 2012 1).

3. Analysis of Two Characters

3.1 Xue Baochai

Xue Baochai is a model Chinese Feudal maiden, sensible and tactful. She comes from an aristocratic family and receives good education. Although reluctant to show the extent of her knowledge, Baochai is descibed quite learned about everything, from Buddhist teachings to to the ways of making plate crack. In the novel, the author first describes her like that although she is only slightly older than Daiyu, she is such a proper and charming young lady that most people considered her superior to Daiyu.(Yang Xianyi 2003 31) Though she seems to have everything an ordinary girl dreams of, she bears the great pressure from her big family. Baochai and her mother lodged at her aunt’s home for her mother’s sake. The novel depicts her as beautiful and intelligent, but also reserved and following strictly the rules of decorum.

Unlike Daiyu, Baochai was deeply affected by the feudal value. Although she received good education in her childhood, after her father’s death, she was taught to be a feudal maiden and to aim at marrying a good husband. Her natural pursuit for love has been restrained by her family, eventually, she lost her own personality and became a sacrifice of the feudal society.

In conclusion, though she is once a girl with dreams and ideas, there is lack in resistance in her personality and limpness in her nature, which leads to her tragedy.

3.2 Charlotte Lucas

Charlotte is a sensitive woman with her own ideas. As the best friend of Elizabeth, she often shares her opinions with Elizabeth. Charlotte is a woman with her original thought about everything. In the novel, when she discussed the Jane’s feeling towards Bingley with Elizabeth, she said “In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on.” (Austen 1994 17) It turns out to be true at last in the novel that Charlotte’s idea is definitely right. It is also her deep insight about everything that helps her to seize the opportunity to marry Collins after Elizabeth’s refusal towards him.

Though with a sensitive mind, she is not blesses by God with a good fortune. She is the eldest daughter in her family. Her father had been formerly in trade, but after he got the honor of knighthood by an address to the King, he quit the business which gave him a disgust. According to the law of succession in England, Charlotte has no right to inherit her father’s estate, which means that after her father’ death, she would not have a single penny left on. As an older woman, Charlotte is bland in appearance. At the age of twenty-seven, she has already been a burden to her family. So the most urgent thing ranks on her agenda is to marry off herself.

In conclusion, Charlotte is a girl with practical idea, who knows clearly how to make efforts to change her bad situation and pursue her comfortable life.

4. Differences of The Two Marriages

4.1 Different Bases of Two Marriages

4.1.1 Different Emotional Foundation

Though Baochai has deep affection towards Baoyu, actually, there’s no love between them. “She also had a daughter whose infant name was Baochai, a beautiful dainty girl of great natural refinement.”(Yang Xianyi 2003 5) This is the first introduction about Baochai in the novel. Obviously, Baochai is blessed with both beauty and talent, which makes a girl become an ideal wife in every man’s eyes. “She neither treat people far nor nearly. Her treating the disgusted person would not see any indifferent attitudes, and the lovely person also see no close to devotion.”(YangXianyi 2003 135) Contrasted strongly with Daiyu, Baochai has a tactful method of treating people of different levels, which makes her an ideal wife in the elder’s eyes. However, all these merits in Baochai fail to turn Baoyu’s affection to Baochai. As a daughter from an aristocratic family, Baochai has other choice for her marriage. It is believed that, it is Baochai’s deep affection towards Baoyu that makes her marrying Baoyu and her staying in Jia’s family after Baoyu becomes a monk.

What leads to Baochai’s tragedy is her misunderstanding about Jia Baoyu. Baoyu is a sensitive and compassionate individual, and has a special relationship with many of the women in the house. Unlike the other men at that time, he hates high official positions and large fortune and he advocates the purity of girls. This fundamental difference that Baoyu keeps contributes to his deep love towards Daiyu, an unsophisticated woman who shares the same life value with him. Though Baoyu and Baochai grow up together, and they keep the deep affection to each other, all Baoyu keeps towards Baochai is the feeling between the siblings. Unfortunately, Baochai fails to realize this and believes that she could change Baoyu’s mind.

Charlotte’s choice of Collins as her husband is totally for her practical thinking. She is determined to marry a man with a tolerable fortune and it does not matter that the husband should be Collins or someone else. So, there is no love between Charlotte and Collins. For Charlotte, Collins is a vulgar, self-important and tyrannical man, who is subservient to his patroness and arrogant before his inferiors. As a clergyman, he considers having a wife as his unescapable responsibility. From his point of view, it is God’s and Lady Catherine’s will to find a woman for his house. As the distant nephew of Mr. Benet, he could legally inherit the estate of the Benet after Mr. Benet died. Owning a good house and a relatively sufficient income makes him an ideal man to marry in many people’s eyes. Unlike Baochai, Charlotte is a poor girl with ordinary looks and no competitiveness. Charlotte once tells Elizabeth that not all of people could afford to be romantic and she would be offered a comfortable home and protection. Charlotte is very clear about her situation, so she chooses Collins just for a living insurance.

Charlotte has her deep insight towards different kinds of people. She knows clear that she can’t have spiritual live with Collins. But Collins is a man with no idea, as a result, Charlotte could have more freedom in decision-making after her marriage. So, as long as Charlotte has no expectation for love in her marriage, she could live her comfortable life after her marriage.

4.1.2 Different Economic Foundation

Baochai is the only daughter of Xue’s family, a feudal aristocratic family. The novel narrates that living in Jia’s family, Aunt Xue, Baochai’s mother, still pay for their living. Baochai has no financial worry and due to the high position of her parent’s family, she has a relatively big range of choice in her marriage. Her husband, Baoyu, also from a aristocratic family, is even more richer than her family. Thus their status in economy is almost equal. So Baochai has freedom in choosing her marriage with Baoyu and leaving Jia’s family after Baoyu left family.

On the contrast, Charlotte was born in a merchant family. Her father moved to the countryside after he made some fortune. Charlotte has her unmarried sister and brother. If she failed to marry her off before her father die, she would be totally penniless. As an older woman, she suffers a lot from the financial pressure. Her husband Collins, has a dorm as a clergyman, and could fortunately inherit Mr. Benet’s whole estate. To free from her financial pressure, she has to keep being Collin’s wife, so she has no expectation for her husband’s love, and all she has to do is to serve her husband well and keep her identity.

4.2 Different Lives after Marriage

4.2.1 Different Family Environment

In Chinese traditional feudal family, children still live with parents after they get married. As a result, a married woman has little rights in decision of her family affairs. Lessons have been taught since she was a child that a good woman should be obedient and tolerant. She is not only the wife of her husband, but also the daughter-in-law of her husband’s parents and the grand-daughter-in-law of her husband’s grandparents. She should be loyal to her husband, at the same time, be filial to her parents-in-law.

Actually, Baochai’s tragedy is partly because of her family’s interference. Though she has deep affection toward Baoyu, she also knows clearly that Baoyu loves Daiyu only. Baochai’s marriage was arranged by her mother and other older members in her family. After her marriage with Baoyu, she seldom enjoys her role as Baoyu’s wife. However, she never leaves Jia’s family and acts her role as a daughter-in-law well.

In the west, the new married couple often lives in their own house. The girl becomes the hostess of her family after marriage. In the novel, Elizabeth is invited to visit Charlotte’s new home after her marriage and Charlotte is very happy to introduce Elizabeth everything. “This parlour is for my own particular use. Oh, Lizzie, it’s such a pleasure a pleasure to run my own house.”(Austen 1994 176) This is Charlotte’s feeling about her life after marriage. Without love, she still lives her live well. Though her husband, Mr. Collins, is far from being an gentleman, who could not afford her a happy life. Luckily, there is no parents interfering their life after marriage, the daily stuff could be decided by Charlotte on her will. So as long as Charlotte sees Collins as a man providing her an guarantee of living and decides not to expect more on her husband, she could live a stable life after her marriage.

4.2.2 Different Statuses of Women in Marriages

During 17-18^th century, China was in the late feudal society. The last dynasty, Qing, was at its downhill path at that time. In order to continue its ruling, the ruling class became more and more autocratic and conservative. The class was very distinct and there was a wide gap between the positions of women and men. Chinese culture develops from the river civilization, which propagates diligence, connotation, obligation and discipline. From the age of Teras, Chinese ancestors went hunting for a living. It was the man who played the most part in hunting, and this gave the man the dominant power in society. While for the women, they were thought to be responsible for giving birth to babies and raising them up. Rooted in this culture, women in the feudal period in China were usually obedient and bearing. They seldom fight for what they wanted and they were accustomed to accepting and enduring. Generally, there is few marriage based on the equal position of husband and wife. Husband is tend to be dominant in a marriage except the marriage where the wife was from the much higher class than her husband.

While in Britain, due to the deep effect of Christian, the idea that every man was created equal is deeply rooted in the British culture. Besides, the British social life underwent significant changes in early 18^th century. It was just in the period that translated from early pure Capitalism to Capital Industry. Freedom and Democracy was highly advocated at that time. As a result, woman’s position in a marriage is protected by law at that time, and usually, the family affairs are decided by both husband and wife. In this situation, woman’s will is respected in a marriage.

4.2.3 Different Concepts towards Marriages

Not like those venality of secular people, Charlotte has once dreamed of her love, however, she was defeated by the harsh reality. During that time in England, women have neither source of finance nor political rights. There are only three choices for them: First, fortunate enough to be born in a rich family or to marry a wealthy man to enter a rich family; Second, knowledgeable to tutor for a living, but the slender income can’t afford them to live a comfortable life; Third, to stay single all the life and down and out. Obviously, to live a better life, Charlotte could only choose the first and her mediocre character and low status offer her no better chance. Though there’s no considerate and loving husband in this marriage, the marriage at least brought a relatively rich and stable life to Charlotte, freeing her from worrying about to be a burden to her family and to have no support in her future life. Her husband, Mr. Collins, a clergy man, believed that his marriage was the will of God, so he could accept a marriage without love.

Xue Baochai is actually a sensible and intelligent woman. It is believed that, though not as deep as Lin Daiyu’s love towards Jia Baoyu, Xue Baochai’s affection to Baoyu is deep enough to encourage her marry this considerate man of gifts. However, unlike Daiyu, Baochai was deeply affected by the traditional ideology that the married woman should obey her husband and serve her husband’s family well, after her marriage, Baochai once believes that if she acted well, Baoyu would turn his heart to her after their marriage. So, even after her husband Baoyu have left home and become a monk, she still chose to stay in Jia’s family.

5. Causes of The Differences

Marriages in ancient China, which were rooted in Confucianism, differ a lot from the western marriages, which were rooted in Christian culture. The differences of this two kind of marriages are mainly caused by the different economic form which generated from the different natural environment. The vast land and the surging river gave birth to a splendid river civilization and a flourishing small-scale peasant economy, while the endless ocean and the long coastline gestated a courageous maritime civilization and a commodity economy. Accordingly, the system, the custom and the value of these two kind of marriages are totally distinct.

5.1 The Different Systems of Marriages

In the feudal society, polygamy was practiced in China, while monogamy was practiced in Britain.

Under the patriarchal clan system, giving birth to sons was seen as the main responsibility of a married woman, naturally, polygamy was practiced in feudal China from long ago. It is common to see that in old times women’s position was closely bound to the number of sons they delivered. Obviously, the polygamy caused the totally unfair positions of husband and wife in a marriage. It strengthened the women’s bound to their husband, but set men free from their loyalty to their wife. Girls in ancient China, especially those from the middle or upper class, were educated not to expect the complete or true love from a man, all they were taught was to marry a man with fortune and social status to ensure the smooth in the rest of their life. Baochai chose Baoyu as her husband, even she was very clear that she would not win Baoyu’s heart. In some ways, she was forced, by her family, by the society she lived in and by her tragic fate. Her father had passed away and her brother, who inherited her father’s estate, was totally a playboy. She had no man to rely on and the most ideal husband he could choose was Baoyu, a considerate man with status and fortune and she knew very well.

In England, monogamy was always practiced no only in the low class but also in the middle and upper class, even the king, can only have one wife, the queen, legally. Although mistresses were largely existing in the middle and upper class, but their existence was illegal and violate the will of God about the marriage in Christian. In the feudal society in the western countries, the church had the absolute power, and the church held that the combination of a man and a woman was granted by the God, so monopoly was the God’s will. Besides, in the feudal period, the Plato’s spiritual love was generally advocated and the sexual desire was fiercely condemned by the Christian. Even over a period of time, women from the upper class took pride in being nuns. Under such a strict limit of sex, the monogamy was well preserved. Charlotte chose a marriage with no love, but she got the wife’s rights vested by law. She did not need to fight with other women for her husband’s care and worry about not having sons. As long as she was Mrs. Collins, her living standards was ensured.

5.2 The Different Purposes of Marriages

Marriage means the building of the legal relationship of a couple, which ensure the rights a woman got from being the wife of a man. In the feudal society, women had no power to support their own. Without a family, a woman would have no where to live except of being a nun. In China, marriages in feudal society followed the patriarchal idea, which indicated that the main function of a marriage was to carry on family line. The number of the children, especially sons, given by a woman determined her position in her family. This made the women’s social position further lower than men’s. In Chinese traditional concept, a female, should obey her father before she married and follow her husband after she married. Women in the feudal period in China were nearly an accessory to men. The social rights of women were given by the men, so marriage was the only way to change a woman’s political, economic and social status. From nature, every woman expected for a marriage based on love, however, the sever reality broke their dreams time and again, they had to bow to the reality in the end. So, a marriage in which the husband and the wife respected each other could hardly be found in the middle or upper class. At that time, few women could enjoy the truly happy life after their marriages.

On the contrary, in England, like many other countries in Europe, people are mostly Christian. They believed in God, and they followed the will of God. Marriage was the God’s permission to the combination of a single man and a single woman according to the description fo Adam and Eve in the Bible. It was believed by the Christian that all men were created equal. Individual rank三 first in the western marriages according to the Christian spirit. On one hand, the sex was considered unclean by the Christian. One the other hand, sex was indispensable in the inheritance of property. The marriage combined both: it limit the sexual activity only between a couple and ensured the continuity of a clan. Deeply affected by the Christian spirit, marriage was protected under the monogamy system. So in a marriage, the husband and the wife shared the relatively equal position and both of them were required to be loyal to each other according to the church spirit. On the benefit of the religions idea, quite a number of women could get happy marriages and find true love in their marriages during the feudal period in Britain.

5.3 The Different Customs oh Marriages

Marriage was the best way to combine the two families, so frequently, marriage was seen as a method for family to broaden the social connections. In China, where the patriarchal idea was so deeply rotted in people’s mind, the marriage was the family event which took little consideration in children’s will. Traditionally, the unmarried female was not allowed to take part in the social events in the feudal society. They had little chance to socialize with male except for their fathers, brothers or other direct male relatives. Their marriages began with their parents arrangement and some were arranged even they were babies. When a girl was old enough to be married, her parents began to pick a marriageable object for her, according to the social and economic status. Usually, there was professional matchmaker providing a list of suitable objects for parents to pick. Then , after both side of parents had agreed with the marriage, an engagement was arranged to deliver the pride-prize. It was until the very day when was held and the couple was sent into the bridal chamber after the wedding ceremony, could the bridegroom and the bride see each other. The bride took time to know her husband after her marriage, so her live after marriage was totally a game of luck. Whether her husband was good or bad, all she could do was to accept the live arranged by her parents and tried to live it good to live up to their expectation.

In England, the unmarried women had a lot of chances to take various parties and this gave them a great chance to get acquainted with many strange men. Usually, a couple got acquainted with each other at a party, and they danced several times. During the parties, they talked a lot about everything. So the party really gave a young woman to know quite a lot about man. After a period of time they spent together, the man decided his target and tried hard to win her heart, finally he would make a proposal to get her consent. If the proposal succeeded, the couple needed to ask their parents’ consent. Obviously, the marriage in England was based on quite a number of knowledge of each other and it was more likely that the couple could chose the right one to pass their rest life with and enjoy their live after the marriage.

6.Conclusion

The different endings of Baochai’s and Charlotte’s marriages are caused by many factors. However, whether in China or in Britain, there are several essential elements in a successful marriage.

The first is love. Although from the endings of these two marriages, Charlotte’s marriage tends to be success. Actually, a marriage without love is just like a well without water, and it is totally a punishment to both sides. Taking Baochai’s no-love-based marriage leads to her husband’s being the monk for example, a healthy marriage should be based on love from both sides.

The second is economic foundation. A happy marriage based on a stable life, which depends on stable income to meet the primary needs. In most cases, the financial status of husband and wife directly decides their status in a marriage. It is known to all that equal position of husband and wife in a marriage ensure the equal communication and mutual respect, which is essential in a healthy marriage.

The last but not the least is the individual’s persistence. It is analyzed above that marriage is a part of human culture, which is deeply affected by the social backgrounds. But it does not mean that everyone should be the sacrifice of his own age. Society is created by people, it can be also breaks up by people. Marriage is like other business of human: it only can be achieved when one persists all the time.

In the modern society, those obstacles are no longer existing, some suggestions still can be drawn on how to seeking happy marriages. First, nowadays, classes have disappeared and any two could get married even between the same sex, and financial obstacles are generally decreasing. However, still a number of people treat their marriage as a way to be wealthy, and finally meet the failure of their marriage. Marriage should and must be based on love. What’s more, especially for women, keeping the economic independence can help them gain the equal position in the family as men. It is suggested that women’ having their own ways of living after marriage. Last, the deep understanding of each other before a marriage is very important. Marriage should not be based on the impulse or the desire of sex, but the mutual understanding. To choose the right one to form your family, it is so vital to get to know him well. It may take time, but it definitely worth. Last but not the least is the love, a marriage without love is like a well without water, it won’t last long. So, find one you love and do not marry for money or fame.

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