论文总字数：28707字

摘 要

在经济日益发展的今天，无论是在中国还是世界的其他国家，作为社交活动中的重要手段之一，送礼都是一种常见的社会现象。送什么？送给谁？如何送？对这些问题的回答要视具体情况而定。这些情况包括礼品的选择、送礼的对象、送礼的方式和禁忌。由于存在文化差异的问题，中西方之间的送礼问题更加复杂。本文对比了中美不同的送礼方式，以及送礼习俗体现的文化差异。了解中美文化的差异有助于人们更好地进行跨文化交流，避免在跨文化交际过程中产生不必要的误会。

关键词：送礼；礼仪；文化差异

Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. Literature Review 2

3. The Cultural Differences of Giving Gifts between Chinese and American Etiquettes 3

3.1 Differences in the Choices of Gifts 3

3.2 Differences in the Occasions to Give Gifts 3

3.3 Differences in the Objects of Giving Gifts 4

3.4 Differences in the Modes of Giving Gifts 5

3.5 Differences in the Taboos of Giving Gifts 5

4. Factors Contributing to Cultural Differences of Giving Gifts between Chinese and American Etiquettes 7

4.1 Collectivism vs. Individualism 7

4.2 Chinese Positive Face vs. American Negative Face 7

4.3 Humility vs. Confidence 8

4.4 High Context Culture vs. Low Context Culture 9

5. Suggestions for Giving Gifts in Better Ways in Intercultural Communications 9

6. Conclusion 11

Works Cited 12

1. Introduction

With the deepening of the world economic integration, China’s exchanges with the United States have entered into a new stage. Especially since China joined the WTO, the contacts in the economy between China and the US are increasing day by day. Meanwhile, the Chinese and Americans have carried a wide range of cross-cultural communications in various fields. As a common etiquette, giving gifts to each other is inevitable in social interactions. Such activities convey emotions or sincerity of people so cooperation can be strengthened and friendships can be developed. Recognizing this, we will know the gift is not only for social needs, the gift itself will also bring us many benefits. In addition, we should admit that due to the huge differences between Chinese and American cultures and values, many people will have a lot of confusions in the treatment of gift itself and the way of giving gifts in international communications.

Etiquette is an important part of culture and the foundation of establishing good relationships in the exchanges. (Hu Bo, 2011:10-11) And giving gifts, as an important part of social etiquette, plays an important role in interpersonal communication. However, due to the differences of histories and cultures between China and America, there are many different understandings of etiquettes between the two countries. Furthermore, the customs and taboos in the process of giving gifts are different, too. In this case, it is of great necessity and urgency to conduct a study of cultural differences in Sino-American ways of giving gifts.

One of the objectives of this thesis is to carry out a comparative study of the differences between Sino-American gift-giving etiquettes and explore the reasons that have caused these differences. Furthermore, this thesis is also aimed to reduce misunderstandings in the actual communications and achieve effective intercultural communications.

Focusing on the research of different aspects on giving gifts between Chinese people and American people, the thesis mainly consists of five parts. The first part discusses the significance and the objectives of the research. In the second part, the thesis explores the different gift-giving behaviors between Chinese and Americans. In third part, the thesis analyzes the major factors resulting in these different behaviors. In the fourth part, the thesis summarizes effective ways to instruct people to give gifts correctly. In the last part, based on the previous studies and discussions, the thesis comes to a conclusion that there are many differences between Chinese and American gift-giving etiquettes due to different kinds of cultural elements.

2. Literature Review

With the enhancing communications between Chinese and American cultures, the etiquettes of the two countries are interacting with each other. The American people gradually accept the reasonable factors of heavy sentiment in the oriental cultures; the Chinese also accept the etiquette and communication modes in American culture. More and more people have realized that Sino-American cultures and etiquettes will gradually penetrate into each other and make joint developments in the future. Scholars home and abroad are engaged in the study of Chinese and American etiquette culture in order to promote better communications.

Generally speaking, the studies of Chinese scholars on Chinese and western gift-giving etiquettes are more specific than foreign scholars. They lay more emphasis on the cultural differences between Chinese and western etiquettes in their studies. In Cultural Differences between Chinese and Western Etiquettes on Giving Gifts, Du Jinxin focuses on cultural differences between Chinese and western etiquettes from the occasions of giving gifts, the selection of gifts and other aspects. (Du Jinxin, 2012:98) In Talk of the Chinese and Western Gift-giving Differences, Pan Hong discusses how to improve the skills of sending gifts in order to establish good relationships and reduce unnecessary troubles. (Pan Hong, 2012:252) In Cultural Differences between Chinese and Western Etiquettes on Giving Gifts, Hu Bo analyzes the causes leading to the cultural differences in etiquettes on giving gifts. He also describes the factors on the basis of talking about the cultural differences between Chinese and western etiquettes. (Hu Bo, 2011:11)

In terms of the current researches, foreign scholars’ studies on Chinese and western etiquettes on giving gifts are much less than Chinese scholars. What’s more, they pay more attention to analyzing the causes of cultural differences from the perspective of cross-cultural communications. For example, “Individualism and Collectivism” mentioned in Geert Hofstede’s Culture’s Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviors, Institutions and Organizations across Nations is frequently used as a good interpretation of the causes of Chinese and western different ways of behavior. (Hofstede, 2008:92)

3. The Cultural Differences of Giving Gifts between Chinese and American Etiquettes

3.1 Differences in the Choices of Gifts

Chinese people attach great importance to the value of the gift when choosing gifts. It is commonly believed that more precious gift shows more respects for others and expresses more sincere feelings. So, the specific objects and situations will be generally taken into consideration when giving gifts. It is common to give cash in the occasions of birthday, housewarming, weddings and funerals, which is very rare in the US. Another gift which is common in China but rare in America is the food bought from the market (fruits, candies or other food). In addition to the funeral and the opening ceremony, the flower is not a kind of popular gift.

American people do not have too much stress in the selection of gifts. They usually do not send nor accept too expensive gifts because it may bring unnecessary troubles and misunderstandings to both sides. The gift itself may be small, but the goodwill is deep. The most important thing for them is the mind and blessing of the giver, rather than the price of the gift. A bunch of flowers, a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, some small items for decorating the room, souvenirs and handmade crafts or cards are all their choice of gifts. Flowers are the most common gifts to the ladies. They are suitable for almost any occasion: birthday gifts, wedding gifts, gifts to the hostess and so on.

3.2 Differences in the Occasions to Give Gifts

In China, it is essential to give gifts in interpersonal communications and occasions requiring gifts are quite various. When people want to get along with their neighbors or ask someone for help, gifts would always be handy. Relatives and friends usually present gifts to express their best wishes at the feast for a newborn baby’s first month, the hundred days and one year old. They are also expected to give gifts for all categories of major events such as marriage, funerals, housewarming, etc. In contrast, the daily gifts of Americans are not so frequent. Only in some important occasions such as being invited to others’ home or on some important days like friends’ birthday, wedding, housewarming and Christmas will they bring some gifts.

Chinese people are very particular about the timeliness of gifts. Generally speaking, the best time for sending gifts is just in time or advance in time. For instance, a small greeting card must be presented in advance, otherwise it will be meaningless. Chinese people taboo others to send gifts just after finishing up a wedding or funeral, because it is regarded as ominous. It is mentioned in Zhao Zuorong’s Tea and Coffee that the best time to give gifts in America and Australia is when you arrive or leave. (Zhao Zuorong, 2006:169-173) Americans do not advocate sending commercial gifts (unless it is a small gift) except for specific occasions.

3.3 Differences in the Objects of Giving Gifts

Some Chinese people will make every attempt to find the opportunity to give their boss gifts so as to thank them or to facilitate the work or to get easier promotion. Meanwhile, in their daily lives, Chinese people would like to give some gifts to their colleagues to maintain their interpersonal relationships. Furthermore, it is essential for the Chinese to bring some gifts when they are invited to others’ houses. And the gifts tend to be given to the host of the house. Additionally, Chinese people also prefer to give presents to business partners, especially when they meet for the first time.

But in America, the subordinate should not send any gifts to the supervisor so as not to influence the normal working relationship. When invited to someone’s house, Americans will certainly take some gifts, which are often given to the hostess of the house. In contrast to Chinese people, Americans do not advocate sending commercial gifts (unless it is a small gift) except for specific occasions. In their minds, too expensive gifts make them feel stressed or might bring them unnecessary troubles.

3.4 Differences in the Modes of Giving Gifts

Chinese people usually think carefully before choosing a gift according to the specific circumstances and situations. The gift is generally sent on both hands to show respects or politeness. What’s more, even if the gift is expensive, they will humbly say: “This is a small gift, no respect.” or “I just pick, do not know you like it or not.” and so on. Some people even just find a place to put the gift down without saying a word when paying a visit to others. The host won’t discover the gift until the visitor leaves his house.

This kind of negative form to send gifts to affirm their own values is beyond the comprehension of the Americans. They can’t understand this kind of expression. In other words, they are unable to realize the hidden positive meaning behind the negative sense. When Americans dedicate gifts to others, they will have a good description of their gift even though it is a small one. Besides, they want to tell the accepter that it is suitable for him/her and it takes them a long time to pick it out. They hope the accepter can also like it.

What’s more, the Chinese people pay much attention to materialized value of gifts. That is to say, they are particular about the level of the gifts’ price. Furthermore, they used to pay little attention to the package of gifts. For example, Chinese people seldom spent time decorating their gifts carefully before sending them. They preferred to choose a small box which is occupied by the gift rather than selecting a big box to put a small one. However, with the changes of the times, people have paid more attention to packaging.

Contrarily, in America, people focus on the gift itself. They think the difference between a good gift and a bad gift is not the price but the gift itself. So, whether the gift hits on what the recipient like or gives him/her a surprise is the most important thing. When American people want to send a gift to their friends, they will carefully decorate it with color papers and ribbons. Sometimes, they are used to putting a card with blessing words onto it.

3.5 Differences in the Taboos of Giving Gifts

Gift-giving is a learned skill which is affected by different cultures. There are many differences of gift-giving taboos between China and America. Due to these differences, giving gifts should respect the recipient’s customs.

The Chinese usually have the vision that “Good things come in pairs”. Therefore, people prefer receiving even gifts to receiving odd ones, such as two bottles of wine, two cigarettes and so on. On the one hand, they want to show that they are not stingy; on the other hand, they just want to get a lucky number. However, Americans think the singular is auspicious. People don’t need to feel humble for sending a pear, which is opposite to Chinese customs. They also send only one bottle of wine when invited. One bottle is quite enough; two bottles are of course welcome but unusual and not expected. Because the hosts and guests will usually drink the wine with which the guests bring when they have dinner. Therefore, if the guest takes two bottles, it might imply that he is a drunkard and a bottle of wine is probably not enough for him.

The color of the packaging should be noticed when giving gifts, because different colors have different meanings to Chinese and American people. In China, the white is regarded as an unlucky color as well as black because the white is often the color of sadness and poverty. Similarly, the black is considered to be inauspicious and the color of disaster and grief. But red is the symbol of happiness, peaceful and joyful. It is loved widely by people. In America, the white is pure and innocent while the red is considered as a symbol of being radical and violent.

What’s more, in China, people are not willing to send sharp tools like knives and scissors to others because it means to break down the relationship. It is also unpropitious to give the elderly clocks or send pears to a couple because “send clocks” and “送终” are homophones in Chinese. Similarly, “pear” and“离”are homophones, too. In America, expensive gifts are unexpected. But it is not suitable to send soap and underwear to women so as to avoid any misunderstandings.

4. Factors Contributing to Cultural Differences of Giving Gifts between Chinese and American Etiquettes

4.1 Collectivism vs. Individualism

According to one of the five value dimensions of Hofstede’s - Collectivism/ Individualism, Chinese culture belongs to the typical collectivism culture, and American culture is a culture of individualism. Under the background of collective culture, the Chinese have a strong sense of group. They depend on the group and think that everyone is not an independent entity but a part of the complex social network. So, it is important to think highly of dealing with the interpersonal communication in order to establish good relationships in daily lives. Thus, Chinese people pay much attention to politeness and advocate the idea that “Courtesy calls for reciprocity”. They hope to maintain or enhance the relationship and emotional connection with others by giving gifts so as to obtain a sense of belonging and identity.

The most respected things in America are independence and autonomy of the individual, and respect for individual’s rights, freedom and equality. Americans tend to consider themselves to be loose individual in the cultural mode, so they are relatively independent from the group. Usually, they put their own interests and self-realization in front of those of the group. Therefore, they do not attach importance to establish group relationships in their daily lives. That is why American occasions requiring gifts are much less than Chinese ones.

4.2 Chinese Positive Face vs. American Negative Face

According to Brown and Levinson, “face” is defined as “Face is the public self-image that every member wants to claim for himself.” They also distinguish it into positive face and negative face. (Gao Tianshu and Peng Youxing, 2009:45) In China, face is an important factor for the formation of interpersonal relationship. Chinese positive face perspective doesn’t express directly the desire of freedom of action. Chinese culture doesn’t emphasize on the freedom of action, especially too much personal freedom at the cost of the collective interest. Instead, Chinese face expresses their request of dignity and respect. They extremely hope to be accepted and praised. If one can’t be accepted or respected by the group or society, then he will lose his foundation in society. When interacting with people, Chinese people always follow the rule of supporting others and trying not to object to other people’s opinion. So, the Chinese attach great importance to the value of the gift when choosing a gift, thinking that it will not only lose their face but also offend others if the gift is too cheap.

Based on the definition of negative face by Brown and Levinson, negative face means that the individual has autonomous freedom and rights, and any individual behavior won’t be interfered. It focuses on personal independence. Americans look forward to freedom and they have a mind of their own. They don’t need nor like other people to tell them what to do. Even little kids have their own thoughts about things. At the same time, American parents seldom order their kids to do something because they emphasize on democracy and equality. In addition, American people attach importance to privacy which shows their protection of negative face. Therefore, the Americans pay more attention to individual itself and advocate freedom and equality in interpersonal communications. They are more likely to express themselves and affirm to others through giving gifts. In this case, they don’t care much about the price of the gift nor the face of both sides.

4.3 Humility vs. Confidence

Humility is one of the Chinese traditional virtues. People always highly praise the behavior that “Someone humble himself and praise others”. When they get along with others, they will deprecate or humble themselves to show their courtesy and politeness. So, when giving gifts, they usually say “This is a small gift, no respect.” or “I just pick, do not know you like it or not.” etc. Moreover, they will refuse repeatedly before accepting the gift. Even after receiving the gift, they won’t open it immediately.

However, Leech’s “Modesty Maxim” - “Try our best to narrow the derogation to others, try to expand the appreciation of others.” is essentially different from Chinese’s “Humility”. (Luo Weixing, 2005:157) Americans emphasize on self-worth and confidence and advocate self-esteem and self-realization. Being too modest will be considered to be false. Therefore, when sending gifts, they will confidently say that it is selected carefully, or that it is good and very suitable for the other side. Besides, they will also accept the gift naturally and gracefully. Meanwhile, they always open the gift as soon as they get it and then share their surprise or happiness with the other side openly.

4.4 High Context Culture vs. Low Context Culture

“High context culture” and “low context culture” was first introduced by Edward Hall in the book Beyond Culture (1976). (Hu Chao, 2009:52-56) In high context cultures, interpersonal relationship is close and people have frequent contacts. They often use indirect and implicit words to communicate with each other. And they sometimes have reservations about their real thoughts and rarely expose their true reactions. Conversely, in low context cultures, most of the information is conveyed in an external and clear way. This kind of culture puts emphasis on the individual’s autonomy and freedom. People don’t like being affected by the value of the group or society. As a result, they would like to state their points of view directly and explicitly and their interpersonal relationships are not very close.

China belongs to a typical high context culture. Chinese people have a strong concept of group and pay attention to establish and maintain good interpersonal relationships. So, gift-giving is not only a behavior, but also an important means in maintaining social communications. Additionally, they advocate humility and implication. What they say sometimes has hidden meanings behind the words. In comparison, American culture belongs to the low context culture which is individual-oriented. People are seldom constrained by group. They are used to communicating with each other in a direct and concise way.

5. Suggestions for Giving Gifts in Better Ways in Intercultural Communications

With the deepening of the reform and opening up, more and more foreigners come to China. The Chinese people also have more and more opportunities to go abroad to study, visit and do business. Going outside provides them great convenience to practice foreign language and learn western cultures. But at the same time, they will face a problem of how to communicate with each other better. Giving gifts may be a good way if they want to establish a good relationship with others. Due to cultural differences between China and America, people should pay special attention to some important things. They can improve their skills of giving gifts from the following aspects.

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