论文总字数：32738字

摘 要

在人类历史上,择偶是一种普遍的实践形式，同时，择偶还蕴含了较为深刻的社会和文化意义。尽管有许多共通之处，但处于不同文化中的人们在择偶方面还是会各有不同。本次研究实际上是基于中西方之间不同的价值维度。谈中西方女性择偶观念的疏同 ,实质上是对中西方所展示的女性文化加以比较。本文以霍夫斯泰德的文化价值维度对中西方女性的择偶观的差异性进行初步研究，并对择偶观的发展作出初步的预测。

关键词：中西方；择偶；价值维度；文化差异

Contents

1 Introduction 1

1.1Significance and Purpose of the Study 1

1.2 Structure of the Thesis 1

2. Literature Review 2

2.1 Studies on Spouse Selection 2

2.2 Hofstede’s Value Dimensions 3

3. Differences of Spouse Selection between Chinese and Western Females 4

3.1 Differences in Interpersonal Relationship 4

3.2 Differences in Uncertainty Avoidance 5

3.3 Differences in Individualism and Collectivism 5

3.4 Differences in Masculinity and Femininity 6

4 Reasons that Bring about these Differences 7

4.1 Natural Environment 7

4.2 Religious Beliefs 8

4.3 Historical Traditions 9

4.4 Moral Values 10

5. Conclusion 11

Works Cited 13

1 Introduction

1.1Significance and Purpose of the Study

Spouse selection is a critical step to marriage, which is the central building block of family hence the basis of society. Spouse selection is a part of culture; factors regarded as important in one culture are not in the other. Chinese people think age, height, marital status really matters in spouse selection, while people in the west give top priority to religion, ethnic background and romantic love. These differences are caused by cultural pattern.

Spouse selection, the initial of marriage, reflects the differences of marriage culture in different ethnic groups. Due to the difference of Chinese and western history and culture, there are an array of differences in Chinese and western spouse selection ranging from age and height to social values and belief in life. In modern times, the exchanges of Chinese and western countries are increasingly frequent; to improve the quality of intercultural communication between nations, understanding the differences between Chinese and western culture is becoming more and more significant. People from different countries can fully understand each other and respect each other"s customs, which can led to the best effect of intercultural communication.

Through the comparative study of the differences between Chinese and western spouse selection, it is acknowledged that the differences existing in Chinese and western marriage beliefs can not be avoided. Although a lot of common features of euphemisms are shared by the two cultures, differences between them must be noticed if better understanding of the unique social values of the two cultures is to be achieved. This thesis may attract their interest in the comparative study between Chinese and western spouse selection and arouse the cultural awareness in cross-culture researches.

1.2 Structure of the Thesis

The Thesis is divided into four parts. The first part presents the introduction of the significance and purpose of the paper. The second part mainly illustrates the differences from four aspects. They are differences in interpersonal relationship; in masculinity and femininity, in uncertainty avoidance and in individualism and collectivism. The third part lays emphasis on the reasons of differences between Chinese and western countries, including different natural environment, the social and cultural beliefs, the history and traditional moral values. The fourth part is the conclusion, which is a summary of the significance of knowing the different marriage in different countries.

2. Literature Review

2.1 Studies on spouse selection

Who will marry whom? Why does this person choose that one rather than others? The choice is conducted by some invisible rules and principles, which governed by social, historical, economic, moral and cultural factors. It is impossible for an individual to escape from those rules.

In the west, some famous sociologists have made great contributions to the study of mate selection.

Jyoti, S.K. (1983) categorized spouse selection standard in terms of eight components: characters, education degree and intelligence, health and appearance, economic condition, temperament, age, domestic skills and religion.

Freud, an Austrian psychoanalyst, proposed that human beings, social animals and the physical needs are the most important factors that should be concerned in mate selection. Thus, sexual compatibility and emotional needs are considered so important that mate chosen is largely connected with physical attractiveness and a kind of complex feeling, which we call romantic love.

Brent C Miller (1986) proposed the theory of complementary need that emphasizes the fulfillment of personality in the process of selection. For example, a couple comprised of a nurturant person and a dependent person create interdependent relationship. The nurturant can derive satisfaction and provide emotional supporting. And the dependent can find who will provide sympathy and support.

In china, many scholars also made great achievements in this field.

Professor Chen Hao(2005)made a survey of 404 personal advertisements from Tianjin and 432 personal advertisements from Boston, and it indicates that females from Tianjin pay more attention to economic condition and commitment information but females from Boston pay more attention on spirituality and hedonic.

Jia Yuxin is another professor who made great contributions to communication between cultures. He analyzes spouse selection in terms of three points: interpersonal relationship, individualism and collectivism, and long-term and short term goals in life.

2.2 Hofstede’s Value Dimensions (Samovar amp; Porter, 2004:58)

Hofstede published his well-known model of cultural dimensions. He developed five value dimensions: power distance, uncertainty avoidance, individualism and collectivism, masculinity and femininity, long-term and short-term orientation.

Hofstede summaries the concept of power distance in the following manner: “Power distance as a catachrestic of a culture, defines the extent to which the less powerful person in society accepts inequality in power and considers it as normal.” The premise of the dimension deals with the extent to which a society prefers that power in relationships, institutions, and organizations be distributed unequally.

At the core of uncertainty avoidance is the inescapable truism that the future is unknown. Though you may try, you can never accurately predict the next moment, day, year, or decade. As American playwright Tennessee Williams once noted,” The future is called ‘perhaps,’ which is the only possible thing to call the future.”

According to Hofstede’s findings, the United States, Australia, Great Britain, Canada, and other tend toward individualism. Those societies, such as Pakistan, Colombia, Venezuela, Peru, and much of Africa, tend toward collectivism.

Hofstede uses the words masculinity and femininity to refer to the degree to which masculine or feminine traits are valued and revealed. Masculinity is the extent to which the dominant values in a society are male oriented. Cultures that value femininity as a trait stress nurturing behaviors.

The long-term short-term orientation dimension appears to be based on items reminiscent of the teachings Confucius, on both poles. It opposes long-term to short-term aspects of Confucian thinking: persistence and thrift to personal stability and respect for tradition.

In this paper, I will make a further study on the basis of above theory and researches.

3. Differences of Spouse Selection between Chinese and Western Females

When it comes to spouse selection, the most important thing is to find out what quality is a female wants in her ideal mate; what kind of qualities a future husband should have and what kind of qualities a female desires? Now that spouse selection reflects certain cultural differences, this part is aimed to discuss the differences of female spouse selection between Chinese and Western nations based on the value dimensions proposed by Hofstede.

3.1 Differences in Interpersonal Relationship

The first difference is the different objective in marriage. The so-called marriage purpose is that men and women both want to achieve some expected goals in the way of marriage relationship. The purpose of Chinese traditional marriage is closely related to the consideration of the family rather than the love. In Chinese society, this kind of traditional marriage purpose is influenced heavily by the importance of making a family. Most Chinese couples have high expectation of marriage and want to reproduce for the inheritance of the family. Even if two persons are not in love, they can consider getting married for the reproduction. Most Chinese couples choose to have a baby after the wedding because they firmly believe that baby is the core of the family, without a baby, the family is meaningless. Most of couples pay attention to their children because the purpose of their marriage is the obligation of family. China is a traditional country, which is always abiding by the principle of “For the next generation and reproduction” (Fan Mingsheng, 2006: 68).

Western marriage purpose is as follows: one is that the lovers who fall in love with each other hope for a full results in relationships; the other is to look for a lifetime partner (William Faulkner, 2003). Western society has always been playing attention to the development of personal independence. Therefore, the self-centeredness and independent consciousness of the westerners are very strong. In the western society, individualism is very popular, and marriage is the combination of two individuals. But anyway, marriage is based on love and pleasure. Therefore, it can be concluded that the marriage of westerners is for the humans’ rights while Chinese marriage is for an obligation for family.

3.2 Differences in Uncertainty Avoidance

The difference in purpose of marriage between China and the western countries leads to the significant differences in mate selection criteria. From the perspective of spouse selection, traditionally Chinese parents select the son-in-law for their daughter, and firstly they will find out whether the man belongs to this moral family. Because old people think that only such kind of boy can be filial in the future, and can make the family harmony.

The idea of well-matched pair is the most important standard in mate choice in China. Well-matched pair means two persons have similar social background and economic condition, and similar family background as well. Before the foundation of the People Republic of China many young girls in China never had the chance to see their future husbands, but they are quite clear about their partner"s family situation .Today many people still believe in this idea of well-matched pair, but not like before. The main concern has changed. They believe that similarity in economic condition and social status will play an important role in future family life. While the last spouse selection standard is the external body shape, appearance and other factors. (Bao Zongmeng, 2006: 58)

Western spouse selection has a lot of difference from Chinese. The main factor of western standards is that two people agree with each other. The rest conditions, such as the family background, education level, can not be in consideration. Therefore a girl born in a wealthy family, in the process of looking for Mr. Right, is more likely to choose a young man with different class background. The reason may simply be that the girl is attracted by the young man"s sense of humor(Fowler. Doreen and Ann J. 1986:87). In western fairy tale, the romantic love story about the prince and Cinderella also happens in real life in the west. Britain"s prince-Charles finally chose Camillabao whose background and appearance were ordinary as a lover, because the two people have the common interests. (William Faulkner, 2003: 256.)

3.3 Differences in Individualism and Collectivism

Chinese love is closely related to people’s family. Chinese young women respect for a lifetime companionship and a mate who can love her until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble. In order to be able to live together, they are willing to tolerate or compromise, even to give up many things. Affection between husband and wife is a complex one that blends love and kinship. After years of marriage, the husband is no longer handsome and attractive as before, neither is the wife as charming and sexy as a young girl, what’s more, once intense love has already fizzled out, and they become accustomed to each other. When love becomes knowing and companionship, marriage means an establishment of connection. Thus, when Chinese women choose their ideal mates, they usually want to find the men who can accompany then a lifetime.

Compared with Chinese people, Westerners are more willing to enjoy the feeling of love brings, rather than the bondage marriage brings. For example, French is world widely recognized as a romantic nation. In France, there is a large proportion of long-term cohabitation of men and women are not married. French famous philosopher Sartre and de Beauvoir love each all their life, but they were never married in their life. . Westerners have a tradition of individualism, and they focus on the protecting of maintaining their independence. Therefore, it is essential for westerners to establish a prenuptial agreement before marriage. If both spouses have income, when eating out together, it is possible for them to pay their own. And they rather cherish and protect the independence of spirit, of personality, and of the pursuit of ideals. Thus, when western women choose their ideal mates, they usually want to choose those who are romantic, passionate and humorous, and those who can bring happiness and respect them.

3.4 Differences in Masculinity and Femininity

In the east, especially in China, the saying " A woman follows her husband no matter what his lot is(Zeng Lijuan, 2006: 14)" rather points out women’s anaclisis and single-mindedness to their mates. This kind of strong dependence is derived from eastern concept of chastity. Marriage is a social behavior that reflects a variety of social factors, including politics, economy, morality, legislation, religion, and so on. Fundamentally speaking, anaclisis not only belongs to women (Pan Xiaomei, 2004:103), it is also the necessary reflection of strict social hierarchy, just because the feudal ethical code "the three cardinal guides and the five constant virtues”, and “the three obediences and the four virtues (Chen Peng, 2005: 76)” can draw the conclusion that the psychology of dependence is more prominent in women.

When women’s anaclisis reflects in mate selection, it is a comprehensive consideration of money, status and other social factors except woman’s own feeling.

China is a practical nation. Its worship of material developed from primitive society to feudal society. Material in the process of mate selection is usually taken into consideration firstly rather than emotion, thus, the concept of MenDangHuDui (properly matched marriage) has been very prominent in china, which is shown in most Chinese traditional literature works. For example, the famous Chinese classical novel Romance of the Western Chamber by Wang Shih-fu narrates the sincere love between Zhangsheng and Yingying .Although they love each other deeply, they are still impeded by Yingying’s mother time and again for the reason that Zhangsheng is a poor scholar who has nothing, on the contrary, Yingying is the Prime Minister’s daughter. Thus it can be seen that, mate choice has become a sense of equivalent exchange, reflecting the feature of material in Chinese marriages. Also, not only those parents desire that their daughters would marry a man of wealth, women themselves also attach more importance of material rather than spirit.

In contrast, the principle of activism regulates western value orientation of female marriage view, which makes western females develop the character of independence, freedom, and adventurism. And this character directly led to the tendency of western females’ personal first -ism in mate choice. Although some single women with a relatively narrow social circle need someone else to introduce opposite sex friends, most western women prefer to free love and choose their spouses on the basis of romantic love .In daily life, single women seldom refuse those men who accost them, sometimes, western women are even more active when get to know men. In western love between females and males, the prerequisite is the spiritual satisfaction. We can see that, in terms of value orientation in mate choice, If only get the mentality satisfaction or a deep attraction of a high level of feelings, women would choose their ideal mates , regardless of age, appearance or even marital history.

4 Reasons that Bring about these Differences

China and the America are two nations representing typical East and Western cultures in the world. The cultures of the two nations are deeply rooted in the long history of the nation; its birth and growth have both been greatly influenced by multiple factors like: the environment, the social and cultural beliefs, the history and traditional moral values.

4.1 Natural Environment

The formation of any ethnic culture in the initial period is under the influence of natural environment such as climate, geographical position. It is the natural environment that provides the initial framework for cultural development.

In different natural environment, people choose a different way of life.

Most American ancestors lived in Europe coastal regions before they came to North America. At that time, they made a living on fishing, trade and handicraft. They believed in the power of human beings and advocated individualism, adventurism and challenge spirit. They paid attention to the speed and efficiency, with expertise in calculating, and are not satisfied with the status quo.

American culture is a typical Marina business culture. Greece and Rome are the birthplace of this culture, located in coastal and offshore islands. Numerous islands made interpersonal interaction less convenient than people in the plain, thus American culture emphasizes the role individuals, which led to the formation of individualism in today"s American culture. Such individualism includes personal effects, personal independence, self-selection, self-reliance and independence.

Chinese culture that originated in the Yellow River Basin is a typical continental farming culture, whose geographical environment and mode of production determines Chinese culture pay attention to emphasis on collectivism, rather than advocating individualism. Its historical and cultural tradition emphasizes collective consciousness and pays attention to the role of group, in addition, it focuses on the interpersonal harmony and helping or relying on each other.

China’s geography is very varied and complex, including mountains, plateaus, plains, grassland, basins, hills, islands, desert, glaciers, and frozen earth. Mountain areas cover about two-thirds of the total land area. This geography decides that Chinese people live mainly by farming and live in groups, and later formed the patriarchal clan system with rigidly stratified. This makes Chinese people respect the person that exists in objective reality that is the ancestors that created tribe and saved the country. Chinese people respect ancestors and group and western people respect God and individuals. That led the spirit world in China collectivism that take the main position and in western individualism take the main position. Thus it causes spouse selection differences. (LiXin.2003)

4.2 Religious beliefs

Religion, a main part of culture, is the origin of many attitudes and beliefs that affect human behaviors consciously or unconsciously (Larry A. 2000: 46). Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism are the main stream in China. Confucianism pays attention to the basic position of our families and our society. Chinese people have already cherished their cooperation of society and the harmony of families for centuries. Buddha is sacred and formidable which can not be violated but can be worshiped. Most of businessmen can not connect religion with their products. The Chinese religion policy forbidden that the religion elements are applied to the advertisements. Chinese people pay attention to the ideas that people and the nature are in the unity, that is, people live in the heaven and earth, and should be harmonious with the heaven, earth and people. Many traditional marriage ceremonies reflect that the Chinese people yearn for the philosophy of "harmony" and the culture psychology of people meeting the luck.

While in the western countries, Christian is the dominate religion, and the people believe in the God and the Jesus. They believe that everyone is born to be equal and they are given the equal human rights. God helps those who help themselves. So they seek for the freedom and equality. To some degree, their beliefs in the individualism and the most important human rights are affected by the Christian. Westerners believe in the Christianity and they think that marriage is sacred, and it is set up by the God. So wedding ceremony is hold in the church, and in front of God the priest witnesses that the couple promised to each other in the congregation, which reflects the nature of Christianity that attaches great importance to the sanctity of marriage. Many Catholic theologians attempt to interpret the marriage ethics from another Angle. They attach great importance to the combination of marriage and love. The family doesn’t agree to see the marriage as the only or primary meaning, and they think marriage should be a group of love.

4.3 Historical traditions

In the family, the individual is a link of the biological chain; in society, the individual is also a link of complex networks. It is these relationships that make all individuals combine into an organic whole. Individuals submit to collectivity and the value of group is no doubt higher than that of individual. As a result, Chinese culture lays emphasis on collectivity rather than individuals. In contrast, Americans pay more attention on individuals.

Chinese people once held the view that marriage meant to increase family members and offspring, defend and improve family’s reputation and status. Marriage would make a female belong to a family rather than one’ own, thus marriage was usually regarded as a significant event of a family but not personal event. For Chinese, the romantic love was not the principal factor of marriage. According to the results of a survey, Chinese youth now pay more attention to emotional satisfaction when choosing a spouse. Emotion becomes a key factor in spouse selection. However, China is a country in which blood relationship is regarded as more significant than romantic love. If these two are in contradiction to each other, for the most part blood relationship will win out. Nowadays, people’s attitudes toward marriage have not changed much especially in some occluded regions. The aim of getting married for them is still to defend and improve family’s reputation and status.

In western countries, marriage is the love’s home to return to. For Americans, love is a kind of strong emotion, arising without consciousness. Most Americans believe that everything is best with love. They also regard love as the foundation of mate selection and marriage．Young people are seeking true love persistently. The main of marriage is to make the woman and the man live together all the life. It is the personal affair. They have no duty to increase family offspring and protect and improve family’s reputation when they are choosing lover.

4.4 Moral Values

Generally, moral value is considered as an ending belief that a specific mode of conduct or end-state of existence is personally or socially preferable to another. Values are also a series of rules that could influence people to make choices or to resolve problems. Such rules are canonical and tell us what is useful, good, right, wrong, what to fight for, how to live our life, and even what to die for(Rokeach, M. 2001:94). One of its most basic dimensions is the value placed on individualism versus collectivism, an aspect of culture employed in many studies. Many scholars thought that the difference between individualism and collectivism reflects the differences between Chinese and western cultures. Besides, large or small power distance can also represent Chinese and western cultures especially in advertising cultures. Language can embody, represent, and express cultural differences.

Chinese people are influenced by Ren（仁） and Li（礼）and Americans are influenced by individualism, which led to two absolutely different interpersonal relationships--collectivism and individualism. Collectivism decides that people must submit to collectivity, which anyone could not disobey throughout one’s whole life keep on defending them in exchange for absolutely fidelity. In contrast, in the society of individualism, the relationship between people is not that tight as in collectivism society: each one just want to take care of themselves and their own family.

As stated above, Ren, the most significant rule having impact on nearly all sides of the Chinese people’s life, deals with relationship, and this is the most significant feature in the societies of collectivism. Obviously, for Chinese, relationship is definitely the principal value. In fact, every one would be in hierarchical relationships that are very complex but orderly. Although the social position of different individuals is unequal, people still have an equal opportunity to operate the whole society.

On the contrary, relationship is almost something people in the West would expect last as they emphasize the importance of individualism over the importance of relationship. In western countries, people emphasize “I” instead of “We”. In the west, the family name is in the back of the first name. In contrast, family is the fundamental unit of the whole society in china, so the family name is in the front of the given name. Personal identity, personal rights, personal needs are emphasized over “We” identity and the interest of the group or in-group, and obligations and commitment. As many researchers have declared, the principle of individualism is the only one rule that regulates interpersonal relationship in the west .The core building block of individualism is the collective unconsciousness of “autonomous self”. Unlike connected self or “we” orientation, individualism tends to dispose each member of the community to serve himself from the mass of his fellows and to draw apart with his family and his friends, thus when he have his own social networks, he will leave the former large network to the one of his own. In America, “God helps those that help themselves” are believed by nearly each person. From this point, dependence or interdependence as well as obligations and responsibilities valued in China is absolutely devalued or despised as they may be regarded as threats to self-autonomy and freedom of action or individual rights.

5. Conclusion

In recent years, we have noticed that people"s view on marriage changed over times. While the traditional ideas still have great predominance on people"s mind, young people are also influenced by Western style of marriage. Young people in China have more or less influence upon American youths as well. Though the purpose of mate selection is all the same, the difference in the way of male selection lies in inherited cultural background. From this point, spouse selection standard will always be different and the difference will never disappear.

Spouse selection, in our society, has become a matter of individual choice, and it is also a part of culture. Since the cultural pattern is quite different, so does the mate selection. Different countries emphasize on different aspects in mate selection. We Chinese attach great importance to age, height and marital status. On the contrary, American people are more interested in religion, ethnic background, romantic love and so on. As what has been mentioned before, we can see Chinese people have much concern on social and material factors while Americans on natural and psychological factors. So it is natural that they have different views on mate selection. One thing should be mentioned here is romantic love, which is becoming more and more important today. Spouse selection, as a common behavior of human beings, is varying from each other for historical and cultural reasons. Spouse selection in each country has distinctive national traits, which is peculiar and unique. As part of culture, mate selection both in China and the United States will never be the same. That is to say, spouse selection in different countries will never be the same unless that the two countries have the same cultures.

Works Cited

[1] Dodd, Carley H. Dynamics of Intercultural Communication [M]. Pennsylvania:

Brown amp; Benchmark, 1995.

[2] Fowler. Doreen and Ann J. Faulkner and Women [M]. University Press of

Mississippi, 1986.

剩余内容已隐藏，请支付后下载全文，论文总字数：32738字