论文总字数：58184字

摘 要

家庭教育是教育的重要组成部分，无论对于个体的成长还是整个社会的发展都有着不可替代的作用。本文以电视剧《摩登家庭》中的对白和华裔教授蔡美儿自传《虎妈战歌》中的节选为例。从中发现中美家庭教育在教育目的，教育内容，教育方式三方面的差异，并从历史背景，文化传统和社会因素等方面分析差异的原因。最后将在反思中就我国的家庭教育发展提出建设性意见：注重培养孩子的独立意识及能力；父母孩子之间应更注重平等交流；以及给孩子适度自由。

关键字：家庭教育; 中美差异; 摩登家庭; 虎妈战歌

（非自动生成的）

Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. Literature Review 1

2.1 Family Education 1

2.2 Modern Family and Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother 4

3. The Differences and Reasons between Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Modern Family 5

3.1 The Differences between Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Modern Family 5

3.2 The Reasons of Differences 13

4. The Revelation on Chinese Family Education 16

4.1 Children’s Independence Awareness and Ability 16

4.2 Equal Communication between Parents and Children 18

4.3 Balance between too much and too little Freedom 19

5. Conclusion 20

Works Cited 24

1. Introduction

Family education is a crucial part in the education, playing an irreplaceable role both in individual’s growth and in the social development. First of all, family education is the foundation and the beginning in the children’s education, thus would exerting enormous effects on children’s growth. Secondly, family education has a close relationship with social development. If family education can meet the requirements of social development, people cultivated in such families can have a positive role in social development. In the light of its importance, scholars in this field always focus on the issues of family education. How to teach and what to teach have become a study and art deserving intensive study all around the world. Rich experience to its theoretical study has been gained by large amount of practice of family education which also in turns put forward higher requirements. Many comparisons have been made on family education between China and America in a detailed way from the perspective of economy, politics, culture, and history etc. It is beneficial to understand the differences in order to change some traditional wrong concepts, improve parents’ proficiency. This article attempts to put up with some suggestions on the Chinese family education by the comparison of Chinese and America family education with an expectation to promote the improvement on Chinese family education.

The thesis can be divided into five parts. The first part will give a brief introduction of the family education. The second part will be concerned with the development history and definition of Chinese and American family education, as well as the studies in this field. The third part is the differences between the Chinese and American family education, and its reasons. Finally, the conclusion will be drawn that it can’t be asserted that American family education is ideal and perfect, but the reasonable elements in their family education are what is needed, including the creation of free atmosphere in home and the nurturing of children’ independence, as well as offering some advice to improve Chinese family education.

2. Literature Review

2.1 Family education

As for contents, researches in China about family education are mainly concerning on two aspects. The first is to criticize and reflect the problems on family education. For example, The Critique of Chinese Parents edited by Fenglin had a discussion on current situation, concepts, thoughts, and methods of Chinese family education by interviewing some scholars in this field, teachers and students, concluding that Chinese parents had ten original sins: paternalism; authoritarianism; propensity for violence and so on. The second is to offer some suggestions by introducing foreign countries’ specific examples. For instance, American Family Education depicts some short stories happening in daily lives in America according to the author’s own experience as a domestic helper. Therefore, the readers would acquire perceptual knowledge.

China is an ancient country with brilliant history. Monographs about family education had been appeared since the Wei Jin Southern and Northern Dynasties. Yan Zhitui, a thinker and writer in the Northern Qi Dynasty, had done some excellent researches on family education and his book Family Instructions of Yan Clan, which gives counsels on how to act one selves and rule family to his descendants combining his own experience and his philosophy of life. The book can be viewed as a treatise about family education, following which a series of books about family education were published, for example, WenGong JiaFan written by Si Maguang in Song Dynasty, which holds that morals and etiquette should be practiced in family education and demonstrates the basis of state governing is family education by citing the Confucian classics. Besides, there were many books for women’s education, such as Women’s Commandments written by Banzhao，which explains the morals of being a woman for the females in her family and The Classic for Girl about feudal morality practices by women. In modern times, people pay more attention to the research about family education and the scientific theoretical system had been set up with many treatises about family education during that time. The patriotic general Zhu Qinlan, also known as the formal governor of Guangdong province, wrote the first monograph Family Education about family education in modern vernacular Chinese during the period of the Republic of China. In his book, he discussed the importance, the principles, and the contents about family education in a detailed way. The proletarian revolutionist Luxun also cared about the research on family education. He expounded many questions about family education profoundly and incisively. The book 60 ways on educating children without maltreatment written by Chen Mochu, one of the ten most popular educators in China, introduces 60 new ways on educating children and some skills about avoiding conflicts with children. Another famous educator Fan Jingyu also writes some books about family education, among which A good father is superior to a good teacher is a representing one. It narrates how a good father should be and what practical and useful educating methods should be resorted to.

Although in ancient times, there had some enlightening stories about family education such as “Mengmu Sanqian” and “Zengzi Shazhu”, the definition of family education hadn’t been put up until the May Fourth Movement. (Zhao Zhongxin, 2001:52) The famous educator in China, Chen Heqin had pointed out that family education should pay attention to scientific basis, promote the spirit of democratic, emphasize on the cultivation of characters in his book published in 1925 in which he also proposed the 101 principles on family education. (Chen Heqin, 2006:150) Since then, family education had frequently been mentioned in education works. However, the researchers didn’t analyze the connotation of the family education.

American family education also has a long history. By the time capitalism was experiencing a rapid development, modern pedagogy and psychology had been founded, which greatly boosted the development of American family education researches. The contemporary documents of American family education can be divided into two groups by their contents. One is stories of popular reading, such as The Art of Education. The other is some guidance and advices on American parents aiming at the problems in family education. The related literatures are Raising Good Children and Right from Wrong and so on. In America, many books on family education are based on psychology. Take the Raising Your Child for example, the book gives an account of the common characters and rules of children’s growth and it believes that children’s growth is a comprehensive result of the local human, nature and the society. From this perspective, the children’s growth is interpreted as a highly social process by the author.

In regards to contents, a brief understanding can be acquired in some related books. First of all, Aristotle divides the virtue into two categories. The first is intellectual virtue and the second is moral virtue which needs to be implemented in children’ daily practice. So Thomas Lickona, as a leader of character educator, puts forward that the contents of American education should also contains the moral education, which includes a series of core values and the cultivation of characters. “I always try to inculcate respect and responsibility as an important part of core values into family education. It has been proved right in the long human’s history, which can help the development of individual characters. And this is the foundation for the existing of society.” (Lickona, 1997: 23) Moral education is an essential element of family education, since it plays an important role in children’s character. Secondly, in America，many educators do not hold that the students ought to memorize the knowledge they can not understand at the early age．The famous educator in Harvard James Grant said in a learning family education forum, “In the western, there is long tradition to study Plato who thinks learning should not be forced on young children. That young learning should be easy and fun so there is no emotional stress thing associated with learning. It is important that parents allow children to be children”. American family education is much like to leave the children grow up freely with high randomness and it doesn’t set any targets for children. American parents think the process has the priority over the outcome. For instance, people of all sorts can be invited by American schools to give their students a lecture, such as a nurse, a doctor, or a firefighter. The aim of this is to give students a brief impression about the society and all kind of jobs. In American family education, arousing children’s interest seems a bounden duty for parents. Parents respect their children’s willingness. “What impress me most is that they respect children since they are very young—parents will not force kids to eat; children will not be scolded heavily if they make mistakes; parents will not be in an authoritative manner if they want children to change clothes, and so on. Americans are particular about the way and the tone when they talk with children.” (Ailin, 2005: 82)

2.2 Modern Family and Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Modern Family, a comedic TV series, first appeared on the screen in 2009 and became popular in America quickly. Based on three reconstructed families, it involves family education, romantic love affaires, and cultural conflicts with vivid plot and humorous words, showing a true American lifestyle. It contains three related families, and they are the typical American families. The first one is Phil and Chaire who have three kids, making them headache. The second is Cameron and Mitchell. They are gay and adopt a Vietnam girl as their child, named Lily. The third is Gloria and Jay. This TV series depict a vivid picture about three American families’ chaotic and complicated daily life in a special perspective. Since it was on the screen, it has won many important awards, such as Emmy awards.

However, Amy Chua holds a total different way of educating. She, a Chinese American, has gained a rather high social position as the professor in Yale University. Her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother introduces how she uses traditional Chinese way to educate her two daughters, such as calling them rubbish, requiring them getting A level in all subjects, and no permission to watching TV. She will resort all means in order to achieve her goal. She formulates ten family rules for her two daughters to force them following the chosen way. However, her way has achieved much accomplishment, both of her daughters being admitted by the Ivy League. The book has aroused the whole world discussion about the Western and Eastern family education. Her book ranked the first in its first day at Amazon. Before it published, the Wall Street Journal even published an article, entitled Why Chinese Mother is Superior to promote the book, resulting in a huge discussion in America. For this, she appeared on the cover of the Time.

3. The Comparison between Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Modern Family

The family education in American and China is different in its aims, contents, and methods, which may lead to different results. Taking the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Modern Family as examples can give a better illustration about their comparison.

3.1 The differences between Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Modern Family

Many factors determine the character of family education. There exist distinct differences between American and Chinese family education in regards to their objects, contents, and methods, which can be reflected by the comparison of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Modern Family.

3.1.1 Family education objects

The objects of family education are not single and abstract, but are specific, which can be organized into a system by classifying and refining. Some researchers assort the objects of family education into two gradations and six specific objects. The former includes talent education and man’s education and the latter includes being healthy psychologically and physically, cultivating sound virtues, forming good wills, the ability on adapting to society, developing intelligence, and acquiring certain skills and acknowledge.

Under different cultural values, the objects of family education are varies from each other. The objects of family education impose restrictions on its orientation and decide its overall effects. As a result, it is the core of family education and the basic reason of the differences of two countries’ family education. Once the objects are set, according to which the content and the method can be determined.

In the first season of the Modern Family, Phil fully respects his kids’ willing. Alex, the second daughter of Phil, chooses her favorite cello course by herself, although she has to move the cello on her own during the course. For his little son Luke, innocent and may not as smart as Alex, Phil also believes he is as excellent as others. He doesn’t force him to acquire other skills. While facing her daughter, Haley’s love affaire, he doesn’t view it as a great scourge, without undermining it.

Manny (sadly): She has a boyfriend.

Gloria: Oh, I’m sorry, baby.

Manny: I give her my heart, but she gives me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff. That was pretty stupid of me, wasn’t it?

Gloria: No, it was brave, right Jay? Brave!

Jay: Well, you will know better next time. We all have insecurities. You’ve got to be brave here. But the fact is you are already the bravest boy I have ever met.

Manny: I am?

Jay: Come on! You wear blazers to school. You play the pan flute. You read poetry to girls. I couldn’t even talk to girls when I was your age. So, whatever you decide, I beside you.

This dialogue appears after Manny, an 11-year-old boy of in it, expresses his love to a 16-year-old girl who elders him 6 years but he is refused immediately. Maybe in China, do such thing like expressing love to a girl is a big mistake, but in American, parents are so open minded about such thing, as long as children want to do and have their reason for it, they can follow their heart. Confession love also needs to be encouraged since it is a kind of social skill. Jay praises his son all these things which may be ridiculous in others eyes, but in his mind, these things are good for children’ overall development. Thus, it can be known that American family education aims to raise the children into a social man with the capacity of adapting to surroundings. For this reason, parents always try to find out what their children are really interested in and then develop their true characters. American parents hope the child to be a man of ability which is “wang zi cheng ren” in Chinese as their aim.

Manny: So, what is the matter, Claire?

Claire: What?

Manny: You seem sad.

Claire: Oh, it’s just kids stuff. Alex and I just can’t disagree. I mean, she has to turn everything into a fight. This whole thing is just about a dress, never had this problem with Haley.

Manny: Maybe Alex doesn’t want to compete with her big sister. Maybe she’s just trying to create her own identity. Put her in a dress, and she disappears.

Claire: For one afternoon?

Manny: I won’t give up being myself for even one second.

American people stress individual characters, and the core of their culture is the individualism, under which people are beings with ration, indignity and free will. Manny’s words are just what these mean. To pursue ones own identity is everyone’s expectation. So are the aims of family educations. This is the reason Manny defends for Alex not being in a dress and her mother seems really understand her then. Parents respect their children’s own characters and all they want to do is to help their children find their own selves. It is the children themselves that take charge of their future and are responsible for their lives. Parents just need to help children know who they are and what they want.

While in the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, she said that parents know better what their children need and they has the obligation to help them make the choice.

“In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70 percent of Western mothers believe it is harmful to force children to study. On the contrary, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. They are sure that great performance in school work is a reflection of their proper bringing-up and if their children do badly in study, parents neglect their duty terribly. From this observation, we can see that Chinese mother always put study at first, and grade A- is unacceptable and the main aim of permitting children taking part in activities is to help entering a good school. And I am of no exception. ” (Chua, 2011: 3)

Chinese parents always set the way for her daughters or sons whether they like or not, and they just have no choice but to obey parents’ decision. Chinese family education object is to help their children be enrolled into a famous university and follow the path of their prepared lifestyle and this is the only right way of success. They are always keen for their children to get a good job and live in a bed of roses. Under this object, Chinese parents have every reason to attach the most importance to their children’ grade points. To most Chinese parents, the aim is expecting their child to be a “dragon”, which is “wang zi cheng long” in Chinese. Unlike typical Western overscheduling soccer mom, the Chinese mother believes that schoolwork always comes first.

To sum up, the differences of education contents between American and Chinese family education are shown in the following aspects. The former aims to develop their children into a social man with strong capacity while the latter hopes to their children do well in study for a brilliant future. The biggest difference between American family education and Chinese family education is that the former pays more attentions to turning child into a successful person or a winner in real life rather than an imaginary talent.（Huang Quanyu, 2010:52）

3.1.2 Family education contents

Many educators have discussed about what family education should do. British educator John Locke explained sports, moral and intelligence education when he analyzed gentleman education in his book Some Thoughts Concerning Education. During the Republic of China, Zhu Qinlan proposed that the contents of education should include benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom and trust. So, the contents of family education are all around and its emphasis is different in different countries.

In modern family, children will send newspaper for their neighbors to earn pocket money. All of these are to develop their independence ability. The case that parents impose their thoughts on their children is seldom seen. On the contrary, parents try to create opportunity for kids to explore surroundings. Manny and his father assembly the electric fans together. Luke and his father grope for their basement together.

Cameron：Don’t be mad. I just got up to change her. Well, I knew you want to Ferberize the baby.

Mitchell: Ferberize. It is a method of getting the baby to sleep through the night. Yes, basically let her cry herself to sleep.

Cameron：Torture.

Mitchell：It’s not torture. No, you got up to comfort her, which only teaches her that every time she cries, her daddy will come in and cuddle her and put on her favorite toys

From this dialogue, Mitchell lets his daughter sleep alone without cuddling her even she is just a few months old. He wants to develop her independent ability, which is universally emphasized by the American people. In American, the sense of competition is pervaded across the whole society and each family, so parents in America attach much importance to the cultivation of all kinds of social skills of their children, among which independence ability is a crucial one. They want their children to do things what they should do instead of helping them do even if it is out of love. Just like Lily, although she is really small, she already needs to sleep by herself without the help from her two daddies. And when she gets bigger, she will eat and put on and off cloths all by herself. These are American people usually do during their children’s growth. It is so common for kids in American to sleep alone in a single room from a very young age even if kids cry heavily due to fears. This is not because parents don’t love their children, or can’t afford them, but because they want to develop their independence ability.

Chaire: Mmm, there’s first inside out and backwards. At least he isn’t zipped into his trousers….. Oh! There is!

Phil: Well, there is book smart, and then there is street smart.

Claire: Yeah, and then there is Luke.

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